yes,i do

Bismillaah..


this is my take 5 for tonight.eceh.


seriously Microbiology,you really want to torture me or what?this much?this hard?

dush.lempang diri sendiri sebab stress.diam.tutup cerita exam.

...


lagi 3 hari nak balik.BALIK.MALAYSIA aku cakap kauuuuuuu..

but takde la meroyan sampai masuk mimpi.sebab yang masuk dalam mimpi ialah,of course,EXAM.tsk.tsk.

okay.sabar.sabar.

...

siang tadi ada kenangan mengimbau,dan sepanjang merentas lorong kenangan[apakah???????],telah tersedar beberapa perkara.

i've changed.a lil bit here and there.not 100% but yes.i do change.people may not noticed,since yang rapat2 semua duduk jauh.kalau message or contact thru facebook,well,i might sound like Azian Nur Suhana yang gila2 macam dulu.but here comes the truth.i'm not that Azian Nur Suhana.you'll get surprised once you meet me.face to face.gila-gila.oh.yang tu still ada,but internally,i do change.and externally,of course.dah,jangan buat2 tak faham.you know what i mean =.="

and looking back this past few years,i can say that 70% of me is a new me.because when you keep growing up,when you keep living,you'll notice that certain things in our life,that we used to like,are not suitable anymore for us.be it a person or a thing.be it anything.

i'm moving on.seriously.i forget who i want to forget,i forgive who i should and could forgive.

well,i can't simply forgive everyone.i know,forgiving someone is our task as Allah's slave,because it's not our HAK to sesuka hati tak maafkan orang.but,i am a human.a normal human.bukan supergirl[eh eh lagu SuJu ni].i'm working on it.still.

and believe me people,once you meet me in the future,or for those yang dah janji siap2 nak jumpa in another 3 days tuu,mesti akan terkejut.

oh this is not a mencari publisiti ke apa,but i speak the truth.

it's up to you to believe it or not.

and for my feelings,heh,human are created with emotions.but human have brain and heart to distinguish between good and bad.yang batil dengan yang hak.yang salah dengan yang betul.i do feel that my feeling towards that someone,is really immature,stupid and erkk..kind of tak masuk akal?

i waited for 7 years,yet at the end of the day,i realize that someone isn't made for me.at least i know for now.but if Allah nak kun fayakun kan dua manusia ini,siapa boleh halang?ah,tidak la sampai berdu'aa siang malam untuk si polan ini.belum masuk tahap tu lagi.awal lagi.

cuma sekarang,aku bebas dari benda2 menyesak jiwa ni[exception for Lee Hong Ki and Brother rambut serabai guitar merah CN Blue :P]

i did brag about certain things,okay..many things.and i complained a lot.but my way of thinking is different.way too different.kalau dulu,each one of things yang jadi,first thing popped up in my head would be;

"kenapa?apesal pulak macam ni?"

and i said it out loud.

but now,when something happened,i will sit and accept it.even kadang2 separuh rela,but i accept it.and that,a major thing yang berubah.dulu susah sangat nak accept apa2 yang jadi.mesti nak tentang dulu.mesti nak jugak telagah.nak jugak bangkang.but now,dah kurang macam tu.

why?

because dulu, i opened only my eyes,not my heart.i search things based on logic,not based on ayat Allah.i tell you,everytime something came up,do not say anything.cepat2 rujuk ayat Allah.you'll find the answer.tak pernah tak jumpa.

and i realize that i have many good friends,yang sama2 jatuh bangun time sekolah.and now,each one of us dah berubah.ke arah baik atau tidak,itu saya kurang pasti,tapi yang baik2 lah hendaknya.inshaAllah.and we have our own path.ambik medic la,engineering la,maths la,cikgu la,chemistry la,pharmacy la..and many more.i am glad to know all of them.each of them is different,in many ways.syukur untuk itu.

..


okayyyy.done meluah.sekarang mari sambung baca Microb.please microb,be easy on me tomorrow.i promise you,after exam ni habis,i will never ever abandoned you.i will never ever put you out from my jadual belajar.hihi.

baiklah.sebelum aku melalut lebih panjang,baik aku berhenti.sekian.


notapakkaki: tolong du'aa untuk saya. Ya Allah, permudah kan lah segala urusan dunia dan akhirat Azian Nur Suhana. dan Allah permudahkan urusan kita semua.inshaAllah.Ameen.

May Allah blesses us.