bom atom

the new schedule is hectic.but i can guaranteed that the other new schedule will be more hectic,busy,crazy and tiring.

masih belum start on calls,but the seniors in final year dah start. 8 am to 8pm bebeh.pheww!~but no worries,on calls bakal start tak lama lagi.bakal sampai rumah pada 9 malam seperti seniors yang di tahun akhir sekarang.

4 years.time sure flies fast.

hari ni nampak ada beberapa seniors yang dah grad,aka para doctors,yang dah get ready nak balik malaysia for good.diorang datang jumpa semua doctors kat hospital.ada yang muka relax,ada yang dah bergenang air mata.yela..almost 6 tahun kot bergelumang dengan Hospital Baptist tu.busuk-busuk hospital tu,masih tempat tumpah peluh keringat sendiri.eceh.

oh lupa nak bagitahu,aku sekarang posting Orthopedics. pergh. letih posting ortho ni.patients yang datang semua hardcore.patah tulang peha,patah rahang.setakat sprained ankle tu apalah sangat kan.

tadi time posting,tengah lali-lali baru sampai OPD,ada doctor tanya;

" explain to me about this x-ray"

menggelabah cicak aku.nasib baik kepala tak ting tong sangat kan.

"left sided hip replacement,by inserting a monopolar prosthetic"

dia smashed aku balik; "tell me types of hip replacement"

aku bidas; "total and......"

doctor angkat kening,

aku juling mata tengok langit.

kot-kot dia kesian.huh.hampeh.takde maknanya.

"faster.i'm waiting for your answer"

bantai je la kan;" total and sub total"

habis cerdik ah jawapan logic aku.doctor tu senyum.sah aku kantoi ni.

"go and read.then explain to me"

tengahari tadi aku baca semua joints replacement methods.dari hip joint sampai la ke elbow joint.serik weh kena soalan bom atom macam tu.tetiba je.dah la time posting ortho time 3rd year dulu doctors ajar pasal types of fractures sikit-sikit aje.hampeh.

tapi bila fikir-fikir balik,bagus jugak kena soalan ala-ala pop kuiz macam tu.baru lah ingat sikit.tak payah buat nota warna pelangi bagai baru nak ingat.inshaAllah ingat sampai bila-bila.

posting mates dah tukar.no longer with Farina,Kotie,Qish,Hana,Bett,Bihah,Nana. dah takde geng minum kopi bawah pokok.lepas ni kena lah join Ruby,Nefa,Azie and Jaja jadi budak baik baca buku macam nerd.lol.

inconvenient truth

#np; i need an airbag,Before I hit the great sadness that approaches

do you know the feeling,when you see someone living a life you've been longing for?you pray so hard to be in her shoes,yet you just can't.i know what happened to me all this while is a fate,arranged by God.but is it wrong to dream?

no,i guess not.

the freedom she has,i want it too.the smiles,tears,laughs and people that came and stay/leave in her life,i want them too.i have been dreaming to live such life,ever since i was in school.and surprise surprise,when i finally have the chance to do so,someone stopped me.no,i'm not regretting the decision i made,i just want to let this out.i didn't choose this path,someone made me to.i didn't agree to this but i nodded my head.

and all i can do now is either cry or feeling jealous over her life.if only i can turned back the time,but it's too impossible,right?

i wish i'm that stubborn girl again.someone who can have a firm grip on her own decision.but a wish is just a wish.

life stays the same,and i have to move on.

pathetic,isn't it?

relieve

i'm forever alone in this house.my roommate reached Malaysia already,and other housemates will be going to Goa for 3 days.and me?

stuck in Bangalore for the whole week.

yeah.life is unfair.

well,at least i have my Smurfs.i'm a Smurf Village addict now.every now and then i will go to my village and check if there's anything to harvest.pathetic,yet interesting.

friends around me asked why i didnt booked a ticket to go somewhere,since my "misi bulan tiga" is gone.heck.how i wish i can escape from this situation.i made a promise and now i cant break it.salah satu ciri orang munafik okay jika memungkiri janji.

i bought INFINITE's Paradise album and it reached home safely.haha.called rumah and mak cakap;

"ni ada parcel untuk dikyan.nak bukak tak tgk ada apa?"

"bukak la mak.lepas tu send gambaq kat bbm eh"

received a picture,and i never thought i can smile for 15 minutes while staring at it.u guys won't understand anyway.it's okay.

he is HOYA.one of man i want to marry if he is a muslim.hahaha.bye.

a 4th year medical student.

these past 2 days had been too stressful for me.i never felt like this before.

and i am officially a 4th year medical students.alhamdulillah,all praise to Allah.but i barely feel like one.i don't have the confidence.i don't even believe in my skills in this field.and by making this decision along with some other friends,i think we made a good decision.

it's for our own good.Allah knows what best for us.

will be having a short break starting from 15th October till 24th October.short ke tuh?nak balik Malaysia tapi tiket mahal la jugak.and Mak will freaked out!but she should feel happy!i'm home!what else can she asked for?

rindu Qaseh and Aqeef!those 2 babies mesti makin membesar!

okay i think i used too much exclamation marks.

because of too much stress and works,i cried a lot tonight.and that,my friend,was how my day ends.

when the rains stop,slowly,little by little,you will stop as well.

"hujan emas di negeri orang,hujan batu di negeri sendiri,baik lagi negeri sendiri"

peribahasa di atas,tuan tuan dan puan puan,amatlah tidak boleh diaplikasikan kepada pelajar-pelajar di Bangalore.

sebab baru sebentar tadi,hujan batu turun membelasahi penunggang motosikal,dan juga mencalarkan kereta.tapi tak kisah.since Bangalore amat,amat,amatlah jarang hujan,maka kami masih bersyukur!

mari kita bagi tengok sikit ais-ais yang turun dari langit.rasa nak buat ais kepal aje.tapi bila fikir balik tahap pencemaran udara di dunia ni,aku agak ragu-ragu.ended up buat milo panas dan duduk depan laptop sambil layan On Rainy Days by B2ST.such a bless!

even the swimming pool looks like a glass full of ices.

okay bye nak tidur.hujan-hujan macam ni,tarik comforter microfibre memang sedap.kahkah.byeeee!

untuk kamu

Tuhan tak cipta dunia sepenuh ini untuk aku bersendiri.

a sad run

the previous post sangatlah emo.well,i WAS angry.with certain people,who dont even give a damn about my effort to help.why asked if you don't want to follow my advice?and yes,YOU are the one who asked for my help first.sape yang terhegeh hegeh mintak tolong lepas tu taknak dengar cakap aku?whatever..

back to normal days.

the exam was over.like..finally!after days of struggling! dah la tak boleh jawab Ophthalmology dengan cemerlang.eceh.gaya cakap as if subject lain jawab dengan bergaya.tapi commed memang tak boleh blah. there's like...thousands of pages to be read,and i finished them only in 1 day?ok let me be honest.in half a day.haha.kalau fail,memang kau deserve hempuk ibu jari kaki dengan K.Park!

and talking about commed,i heard there's no community medicine for the juniors.

whattttttttttttttttt? wth? seniors dengan batch kitorg punyalah struggle tahap gaban,time exam gelabah cicak hafal segala statistics,benda-benda merapu pasal India,sekali juniors selamat dari semua tu?! ini sunguh tidak adil.dan menyedihkan.

tak boleh la cakap;"padan muka korang pulak kena layan Dr.Shantaram!"

ish jangan sungguh aku.tak baik.lecturer sendiri tu,walaupun beliau agak annoying kannnnn~

and guess what?

esok Sabtu,and i have posting.from 8 am till 2.30 pm. and i don't even know which department i've been posted to. like seriously,going to meet the patients and doctors at the hospital,a day after finishing your exam?not a good decision,i must say.

and don't forget,the juniors are coming tomorrow's night.there will be,like..45 of them?i'm not sure.

there,hilang dah hari Sabtu aku.punah harapan nak test court basketball baru.or nak pergi main futsal.stressssssssssssssssss!~

aha.and around 8 pm before, my hands were trembling and shaking like..idk.they freaked me out!that must be the after effect of the over consumption of caffeine during the exam week.we doctors sure know how to make our own prescriptions.haish!

and i miss Aqeef,and Qase,andNabihah and Kak Nie and everyone at home!feel like going back this November,but i don't know if that would be a good decision or not.

haha.funny.time before fly,kalut nak pergi oversea...dah ada kat oversea,kalut nak balik Malaysia.

absence makes hearts grow fonder,isn't it?

weal and woe.

too angry to describe.screw everything.bye.