dengar-dengar nya,course MBBS di IMS ni akan dipendekkan.sebab all the super seniors,which should be done with their studies in 2012,will be back to Malaysia for good in 2012.means,internship di hospital sini akan dipendekkan kepada 6 bulan sahaja.maksudnya lagi,course MBBS yang aku ambik ni,hanyalah selama 5 tahun[hanyalah??!].yeay!boleh balik Malaysia awal!boleh kawen awal.eh tetiba plak.tak.tak.the point is,tak payah stay di India lama sangat.6 months is a longggggggg period okayyyy.pejam celik pejam celik takdenya habih macam tu aje 6 bulan tu.okay.tak realistik.=.='
back to the story.gembira memang gembira time dengar berita tu.eventough tak sure and belum di confirmkan secara bertulis oleh dean or pihak berkuasa.but still gembira.and at the same time,it makes me think a lot.at least for today lah.time main basketball pun terfikir gak benda ni.ish.
adakah masa selama 5 tahun itu nanti mencukupi untuk mempersiapkan diri aku dan rakan2,untuk menjadi doktor sejati?
sekarang ni,aku tak berapa nak yakin dengan aku ni.betul ke kau nak jadi doctor Azian Hana?Apesal gaya kau macam nak jadi writer je lebih ni?=.='
one friend of mine also has her own worries,according this issue.it seems like we are being too dependant on books.well,it is still early to make any assumptions,as we just entered our second year.but it has been 5 months already.and yet most of the clinical cases,seem too impossible to be solved.nak buat diagnosis pun merangkak rangkak.terms mudah pun tak boleh nak ingat lagi.plus banyak tahap apa aje semua nama drugs la.
and bila belajar pharmacology,bila belajar pasal adverse drug reaction tu..terperasan lah yang sebenarnya,belajar ni memang kena by heart.lillahi ta'ala.kerana Allah.bukan kerana exam.bukan main hentam hafal without knowing its true mechanisms an all.also not by memorizing the facts semata mata. dibuatnya tersalah bagi ubat,and nauzubillah,berlaku pulak adverse drug reaction,tak ke haru biru jadinya?akhirat nanti akan dipersoalkan semuanya.
yes.exam inshaAllah boleh lepas kalau macam tu,but then,when it comes to application,when it comes to do our very own duties..do we really capable of doing all that?could we?
remember,it's other people lives that we are talking about.yes.bukan depends on kita samada manusia tu sembuh tak dari penyakit,sebab semua tu Allah yang tentukan.tapi sebab kita dah memilih untuk menjadi penolong kepada manusia2 yang sakit.kita sebagai medium yang menyembuhkan.jadi kena usaha lebih.and of course,when it comes to usaha,there should be kebergantungan kepada Allah.and again,kebergantungan ni bukan nya kosong semata.kena ada usaha and percaya.
an islamic doctor.ingat lagi time mula-mula start program kat IMS ni.ada satu penceramah sebut,dari Malaysian Medical Council[agak2 nya ah.lupa dah];
"a doctor is a leader.the nurses and medical assistant are the soldiers.they work together to achieve their own goal,which is helping and curing people."
and of course,kena letakkan kekuasaan Allah untuk pulihkan tu di tempat paling atas.
dan sekarang,majority overseas students,attend usrah.tak kisah la dengan pihak mana.tak kisah la bincangkan pasal apa.tak kisah la apa medium dan cara.bagus.memang amatlah digalakkan.
tapi,apakah selepas habis belajar,masih mampu attend usrah2 sebegitu?apakah selepas habis belajar,bila dah busy dengan kerja atau keluarga,masih mampu cekalkan hati untuk kekalkan imej seorang doctor islam sejati?tepuk dada tanya..tak payah tepuk dada.buat sakit aje.duduk diam2,tanya diri sendiri.mampukah?dan bukanlah kehadiran diri ke usrah itu.kalau pergi tapi tak masuk apa2,tak dapat apa2 input tak guna jugak.yang penting dalaman.biarlah kukuh sekukuh kukuhnya.[wah,banyaknya perkataan kukuh.]
itu kita kena du'aa dan terus yakinkan diri agar kita mampu.dan ya.mampulah hendaknya.inshaAllah.
kenapa Azian Hana membebel pasal ni?dia rasa dah hebat sangat ke dia?banyak dah la tu study?
tak.
sebab benda ni asyik duk menekan pemikiran aku ni.aku tak lah manusia yang sangat2 rajin study.aku bukan lah manusia yang hebat tahap petala langit dalam bab2 menghafal segala macam.aku tak hafal pun nama drugs tu.aku tak ingat banyak terms mudah pun.
dan sebab aku ni.."tak"..kepada semua benda di atas,maka ini hanyalah peringatan,dari seorang manusia yang tak sempurna dan masih kurang serba serbi.
aku amat-amatlah risau dengan diri aku.taktau la kalau manusia seangkatan aku yang lain relax je ke apa,tapi aku tak.risau sebenarnya.
aku takut apa yang aku buat pada setiap saat,dan pada kemudian hari nanti akan dipersoalkan.
jadi marilah berusaha memperbaiki diri.perlahan lahan.tak payah belajar melulu tanpa memahami apa-apa.belajar,tak boleh macam jadi teko yang bocor.isi banyak air,tapi banyak juga yang keluar.akhirnya,tak ada apa yang tinggal.takkanlah nak jadi macam tu kan?
so,bersama sama lah kita bertabah dalam belajar,dan untuk semua yang bakal ditempuhi.
"wahai orang beriman,bersabarlah kamu dan kuatkanlah kesabaran.bersiap sedia lah di jalan Allah.orang yang bertaqwa di jalan Allah ialah orang yang beruntung"
[Ali 'Imran 3;200]
it ain't all jazz and waltz.it may turns into a breakdance.so just follow the steps,slowly and please believe in yourself.Allah always with you,and Allah surely helps you through each one of the steps you have taken.inshaAllah.
minggu lepas aku ada 2,3 tests kan?aku rasa aku dah usaha.tak terlalu banyak.tapi aku rasa macam cukup.macam lah.jadi aku jangkakan outcomes yang setimpal dengan usaha.
but Allah gives you what you need,not what you want.
so aku kena pasrah aje lah nanti hari isnin ni.
=.='
and speaking of expectation,sometimes,i'm sick of living with people's expectation.be it good or not.maybe because i'm the one yang selalu turut cakap mak[okay.adakah baru sahaja angkat diri sebagai anak yang baik menurut kata?haha].
jadi bila aku adukan;
"mak,banyak la test minggu ni." or "mak,dah nak ambik test ni.cuak gilaaaaa!"
then,the reply would be;
"boleh buat.mesti lulus cemerlang,gemilang terbilang!senang aja tu.mesti boleh"
=.='
mak,if you just know how it feels when you said all those words.no,no.bukan macam burdens ke hape.but more to pressure myself.but yes,it does help me.it does give me spirit.but i still felt like...erm..macam mana nak cakap eh?i'm helplessly hopeless when it comes to describe my true feelings la.jadi baiklah tutup cerita mengarut ni.
jom ke cerita lain[senget gila kau Azian Hana]
hari ni ada end posting celebration.and lots of things happened today.i just felt that today is one of the longest Saturday i ever had.kenapa?just because.gambar?nanti2 lah kalau rajin.tak janji.sebab aku macam nak mengekalkan blog ni tanpa gambar.kalau nak tengok gambar,baik bukak flickr.lagi best.
see,aku memang suka buat benda tak bersebab.
aku dapat satu pengajaran hari ni;
Azian Hana kena lebih banyak bersabar dalam menghadapi dugaan.wah.ayat sungguh skema.kalau cikgu BM tengok,mesti terharu bahagia gilaaa.haha.
kenapa?sebab siang tadi adalah orang bagi aku naik angin[read;marah].dan aku dengan melulunya ber-gah guh haa huuu ngaaaaaaa dekat situ.sungguh tak patut.bukan kah dah janji mahu berubah jadi manusia yang penyabar.
mesti tingkat kan usaha.ya.let us develop patience in ourselves.because patience is one of the virtues that i lack.
mulai sekarang,mari zikir banyak2 lagi.sabar akan jadi salah satu sifat utama kita.inshaAllah.
Ameen.
okay.nak tidur sekarang.sebab esok pagi2 buta nak pergi main basketball dengan Haziyah Hassan and Farina Fendi.
aku buat walking tadi.terjumpa ini.sengaja mau kongsi.
....
Last week, it was extremely cold....cold beyond imagination.It was so cold, they said these were temperatures we havent seen in more than a decade.Pipes froze and burst, many people lost electricity and many even died.There was ice everywhere.. .ice on the cars, ice on the trees, ice on the on the grass.When the arctic wind blew, it cut through to the bone. It hit across the face and numbed whatever it touched.
And as I felt the chilling effects of these below-freezing temperatures, I thought of Jahannum.
Yes, Jahannum.
Now, why would I remember Jahannum, one might ask, in this Siberian weather?
Isnt Jahannum fiery, burning and hot?
Yes. But, although Jahannum is a place known for its unimaginable heat, scorching blazes and sweltering fires, there are also places within it that are extremely cold, frigid and chilling.
So frigid are these places that it would burn and scorch and torture a person just as the severest fire would and worse.
And this extreme state of coldness in Jahannum is called Zamhareer.
The state of the Hell of Zamhareer is a suffering of extreme coldness, of blizzards and freeze for the people who will enter Jahannum. (May Allaah protect us from it).
Yet its coldness is not a pleasure or a relief to the sinners. Rather it is a severe punishment and burning torture which no one would ever be able to bear.
Ibnul Qayyim said about the following Ayah:
"Nothing cool shall they taste therein, nor any drink. Except boiling water, and Ghasaaqaa”
[Al Naba: 24-25]
It is Zamhareer, it burns them with its extreme cold just as it burns them with its heat. It was also stated by Mujaahid and Muqaatil that it is the peak of coldness. (Badaai al Fawaa-id)
Allaah mentions this Zamhareer when he talks about the rewards of the people of Jannah and how they are saved from its cold torture, its extreme frigidity and biting frost.
''They will recline on thrones. They will not see the excessive heat of the sun, nor the extreme bitterness of cold (Zamhareera).''
(Al Insaan 76 :13)
And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“The Fire says: Master, some of me eats other parts, so grant me a breath (respite). Thus (the Fire) was granted a breath in the summer and a breath in the winter. So whatever you find of bitter cold or Zamhareer, thus it is from a breath of Jahannum, and whatever you find of heat or Haruur, thus it is from a breath of Jahannum”. (Muslim)
So what did the righteous people do when they experienced extreme cold winters and low temperatures?
They remembered this hadeeth and asked Allaah to protect them from Jahannum and its bitter cold as well as its severe heat.
Ibn Rajab said: “And from the virtues of winter is that it reminds one of the extreme cold of Hell and pushes one to seek refuge from it…"
So when winter comes along and the arctic wind blows and temperatures drop, use it as a reminder for the Aakhirah.
When your fingers and toes are so cold and numb, that you can no longer feel them and when your shake and shiver in the frigid weather, remember Zamhareer and its bitter coldness.
These winds, these extremes of temperatures, this ice and snow are signs amongst the signs of Allaah. They are reminders of our life to come and of the Aakhirah.
So seek refuge in Allaah from Jahannum and its heat and its coldness. Do all you can to stay away from it and do all you can to protect yourself from it. And never forget the Day when you will stand in front of Him and give account of all that you said and did.
The famous worshipper Raabiah said:
"I have never heard the adhaan except that I remember the caller who will announce the Day of Resurrection, and I never see the falling snow except that I imagine the flying pages of the records of peoples deeds (on that day), and I never see swarms of locusts except that I think about the Great Gathering on the Last Day." (Sifah Al-Safwah)
And Sufyan ibn Uyaynah said that Ibrahim at-Taymee said:
"I imagined myself in the Hellfire with its iron chains and blazing fire eating from Zaqqoom (a tree in hell with exceedingly bitter fruit), and drinking from its Zamhareer (a bitterly cold drink), so I said "O my soul what do you long for?"
It replied "To return to the world and perform a righteous action by which I will be saved form this punishment".
I also imagined myself in Paradise with its Hoori dressed in silken garments (of Paradise) with gold embroidery.
I said "O my soul! What do you long for?"
It said "To return to the world and perform a righteous action by which this reward will increase."
So I said to myself "You are in the world and (surrounded by) aspirations" .
O Allah, we seek Your refuge from the torment of Jahannum,from its Zamhareer(coldness) as well as Haruur(heat).
aku terjaga tengah malam ni bukan semata nak bersengkang mata.saja-saja.aku tak fikirkan yang lain,cuma automatiknya,aku terfikirkan mak abah yang lenakah tidak tidurnya?aku resahkan adik-adik yang entah dengkurnya selesa entahkan tidak.
aku kira,kali pertama aku jauh lebih 200 batu dari rumah,tinggi si lelaki tunggal dalam rumah aku hanya paras bawah sikit dari bahu aku.sekarang aku kira dia dah menyayup naik kepala aku.entah2 sekali gagau dia dah boleh hentak aku dengan segenggam tangan dia.aku kira air liur basi dia mungkin masih bertali-tali ke bantal.membentuk peta dunia entah apa2.dengkur dia,apa masih kuat dan menyakitkan telinga?ah,rindu.kalau dulu,aku paling melenting marah bila tidur aku diganggu bunyi dengkuran dia,sekarang aku boleh rasakan,yang penyebab aku terjaga ini,aku rindu dengkuran nafas tersekat di kerongkong itu.
dia satu-satunya lelaki dalam rumah.tolak abah lah.ish.kami si kakak2 suka panggil dia pondan.mula2 dia buat tak tau.tapi lama-lama,tangan kaki merayap sekali.siapa tak panas kalau dipaksa bertudung bergincu tiba2?jahat gila kakak2 ni.dan aku tengah berkira,bolehkah lagi aku apakan dia dengan lawak semurah itu bila aku jejak kaki di rumah nanti?
kalau sudah namanya lelaki,mesti macho itu yang mau ditunjukkan.tak kira depan siapa.kakak,mak,adik.kawan2 perempuan dah tentu.
aku ingat lagi,aku pernah tanyakan dia,di suatu petang damai,bila kami sama2 bergolek malas depan televisyen;
"kalau kak yan takdak,aloi sedih tak?"
dia kembang kempis hidung.
"jangan harap lah aloi nak sedih!"
aku diam.
tapi bila aku mau pergi jauh setahun setengah lepas,dia peluk aku erat2.dalam sedu dia,semua ayat aku berkecai.sungguh.dia dengan aku tak serapat aku dengan si degil nombor 2.ah boleh kata,aku ni tak rapat dengan siapa2.sebabnya aku ini duduknya di asrama.seminggu sekali baru nak sua muka dengan yang lagi berlima.rahsia sesama mereka,aku tak pernah tau.dan aku tak pernah tanya.
tapi sungguh.kontrol la sekuat mana pun,dia akan menangis jugak tiap kali aku balik,dan tiap kali aku akan pergi.setiap kali.mak sendiri terkejut dengan dia.tapi bulan tiga ni,apa masih begitu dia...
bila aku tanya khabar isi rumah,yang si gemuk bongsu mesti mau nak membebel juga.jarang sekali si bongsu tu terlepas bicara dengan aku.tapi beberapa kali ni,lewat minggu lalu,dia,si lelaki tunggal itu minta bersuara sendirian dengan aku.
dia khabarkan dia sudah besar.mahu dibiarkan keluar sendirian dengan kawan2.aku usulkan jangan.dia mendengus.dan terharu aku bertukar jadi risau.mak,betul dah besar budak ni.
tak apa,balik bulan tiga,kita tengok siapa yang mengalir airmata.kalau dia,maka tak apa.dia masih adik lelaki tunggal aku yang gemuk dan penuh dengan airliur basi tiap kali bangun pagi.
"Dan Muhammad hanyalah seorang Rasul;sebelumnya telah berlalu beberapa rasul.Apakah jika dia wafat atau dibunuh,kamu akan berpaling ke belakang(murtad)?Barangsiapa berbalik ke belakang,maka ia tidak akan merugikan Allah sedikitpun. Allah akan memberi balasan kepada orang yang bersyukur."
[Ali 'Imran 3;144]
Rasulullah SAW memang telah tinggalkan kita lama dahulu,tapi ditinggalkan kita dengan 2 benda yang cukup untuk kita pelajari darinya; Al Quran dan As Sunnah.
perjuangan jalan menuju Allah ini masih jauh dan perlu diteruskan.
jadi percaya,dan buka langkah sama-sama.
Selamat menyambut hari kelahiran baginda Muhammad,Rasulullah SAW.
dunia.kalau kau kejar isinya,tidak akan pernah puas.tidak akan.sama dengan manusia.kalau kau cari kesempurnaan dalam manusia itu,kau tidak akan jumpa.sebab sempurna itu hanya milik Allah.apa yang kita boleh buat ialah,jadi sebaik yang mungkin.tapi jalan menuju benda benda baik selalunya penuh dengan dugaan.jadi bagaimana ni?
jangan panik.dah nama pun manusia.iman menurun dan menaik.jadi sudah lumrah.yang mampu dibuat hanyalah cuba untuk kekalkan iman kita.cuba cuba dan terus cuba.dan iman kita bukanlah diukur berdasarkan labuhnya tudung.iman kita tak diukurkan berdasarkan banyaknya hadith yang dihafal.iman kita tak diukur berdasarkan status kita.orang yang beriman itu percaya dengan hati,mengaku dengan percakapan dan melaksanakan dengan perbuatan yang memang dah ditetapkan.kita sendiri tahu setakat mana diri kita ini.tak perlukan penilaian manusia lain.tepuk dada tanya jiwa.
dari dulu orang heboh mau mencari si isteri atau suami sempurna.heh.mau yang sempurna aje.sedangkan diri sendiri asyik hanyut ikut arus dunia sementara.kan dah difirmankan oleh Allah;
perempuan yang keji ialah untuk lelaki yang keji.lelaki yang keji untuk perempuan yang keji juga.sedangkan,perempuan yang baik ialah untuk lelaki yang baik-baik,dan lelaki yang baik-baik ialah untuk perempuan yang baik-baik pula.Mereka itu bersih dari apa yang dituduh orang.mereka memperoleh ampunan dan rezeki yang mulia(syurga)
[An-Nur 24;26]
jadi jangan mencari si baik.jadilah si baik yang akan diberi si baik juga.InshaAllah.
[oh sengaja sebut hal ni sebab ramai sungguh yang sedang rusuh hatinya runsing tidak dapat si sempurna]
hati.
dalam banyak-banyak organ dalam badak kita,bagi aku,hati yang paling susah mau dijaga.[perut senang sikit.dapat makanan dia diam :P]
tipulah kalau aku kata hati ni senang nak dijaga.sebab walau berdepan dengan benda harian yang kecik sebesar zarah sekalipun,hati dulu yang akan berdetik.baru otak.dan senangnya hati untuk menyimpan prasangka ialah sesuatu yang kita sendiri tentukan.prasangka itu boleh datang dalam keadaan baik atau pun buruk.dan prasangka baik itu amat bagus.lega kan bila hati kita boleh bersangka baik dengan manusia lain?
jadi macam mana mau hati ni ingat benda yang baik aje?
mulakan dengan bersangka baik dengan semua orang.don't judge a book by its cover.never ever.walau kita kata kita dah kenal manusia tu untuk tempoh yang amat lama,tak semestinya apa yang kita tau tentang manusia itu benar semuanya.kadang kadang telahan kita terhadap manusia itu tak mungkin benar.
mahu lebih tenang?banyakkan selawat.banyakkan zikir kepada Allah.ini petua yang amat bagusssss dan terbukti keberkesanannya.kenapa bila zikir hati kita tenang?jawab sekarang jawab.
lihat secara logiknya.bila berzikir,ucapan ucapan zikrullah itu semuanya bermaksud baik.walau hanya menyebut Ya Latif sahaja sekalipun,maksudnya sudah cukup untuk menyampaikan bahawa kita memohon sesuatu yang baik.Ya Latif bermaksud yang lembut.jadi InshaAllah akan dilembutkan juga hati kita.dan hati kita ini,Allah yang pegang.maka bila ada sesuatu yang tidak baik menghuni hati kita,maka serahkan kepada Allah,minta dihapuskan rasa itu.
dan semestinya apa yang hati kita rasakan,harus disertakan dengan perbuatan yang baik.mana mungkin hati jadi tenang kalau diri dan anggota badan luaran yang lain sedang buat maksiat.itu kontradiksi namanya.
...
kenapa aku menulis begini?
sometimes i did something because i want to do it.
good news,people.i am deactivating my Facebook account.means there should be no stalking,no new status or whatsoever.
the reasons?i have tons.
first,it's for the sake of studying.i'm kind of distracted everytime i on my laptop.asyik nak bukak aje.and because i'm not good enough to stop myself from clicking through all those pages,so i deactivate it.
secondly,oh,this is the real reason.i have a hard time looking at that someone page.what's the use of it,if i just want to see if that someone is being in front of him/her laptop or not.kan?what's the benefit i could get?and i have to commit this.my heart aching everytime i see his/her name on my screen.thus,the deactivate happened.
thirdly,well.just because.
...
i'm currently listening to Anang's; Separuh Jiwaku Pergi.over and over again.it suits the moods though.
oh,i'm not heartbroken or something.i just..feel like listening to it.biasalah,mood swings.
but i find the lyrics are somehow,erk..interconnected with my current situation?pergh.diam ayam diam.
"benar ku mencintaimu,tapi tak begini"
[i know.i know.jiwanggggg]
but i couldn't care less.
...
exam is less in 20 days.i should start distracting myself from all these silly things.
i just love today's weather.warm enough.and my house has this strawberries.so i dipped them into melted choc.and that's it.juadah petang bersama housemates.haha.
gambar takde.malas nak upload =.='
ah ah.ada cerita best.ada kolam renang yang BESAR di apartment aku ni.semua gembira sebab akhirnya,boleh swimming ramai2 dalam tu.but,there's one problem.baru aja dapat tau tadi.
kolam renang yang BESAR itu hanya boleh digunakan oleh 2 ORANG SAHAJA pada satu2 masa.
which means,kau tak boleh berenang secara berjemaah[okay,boleh.tapi 2 orang aje.lagi 10 orang sila tengok sambil tunggu giliran =.=']
see.i told you India has these freaking weird rules,and of course made by their people.huh.
tapi aku kisah apa.aku nak jugak terjun ramai2 dengan geng2 aku.takkan la guard tu boleh drag kitorang keluar dari pool tu kan??
haha.sekian entry bosan di petang hari pada hari Ahad yang murni.
i have a test in another 4 hours[okay memang bosan asyik cakap pasal test].i can't sleep.oh oh esok pagi bangun muka sememeh dan pergi hospital dengan perasaan berdebar dan masam.
siang tadi ada orang add di mukabuku.sungguh teruja,sebab kawan lama.seriously,mukabuku memang dah menemukan aku dengan beberapa kawan lama zaman hidung berhingus baju penuh melekat segala macam mee kari kantin rm0.50.
sungguh bahagia kalau dapat jadi budak kembali.boleh main cop2 tiang,pepsi cola,lompat getah and lubang tikus tanpa rasa malu dan tidak selesa.kalau main zaman2 sekarang ni,memang nak cari penampar jepun lah dengan manusia sekeliling.oh,oh..kalau main lompat getah,mesti lah waktu sekolah agama.mak abah hantar pergi belajar agama,siap dengan kain hijau semua,tapi si anak yang terlebih bijak..pergi main lompat getah dengan kawan2 baik.lepas tu nampak ustazah sampai..zupppp!menyusup masuk ke kelas,dengan peluh berciciran di dahi dan baju.tak sampai 5 minit semua lali.sebab dah letih berlatih lompat getah kannnn.hahaha.
budak-budak jugak tak banyak masalah.kalau nak cokelat,tak susah.cebik bibir sikit,tarik2 baju mak abah sikit.kalau tak jalan jugak tactic tu,cuba buat muka comel.kalau takmau jalan jugak,guling sambil meraung atas lantai.inshaAllah mak abah belikan.tapi aku selalu jalan pergi balang cokelat,then ambik ikut suka hati nak berapa.letak atas kaunter,takpun bukak terus pembalut cokelat.senang.tak payah bising2 kat situ.haha.jahat kau ayam.
tak macam sekarang,kalau nak makan cokelat cadbury kena turun kedai beli sendiri.yang lagi tak best,kena guna duit sendiri.zzZZZZzzz.
kalau jadi budak kecik,boleh pakai baju ikut suka.boleh pakai miniskirt tayang lutut banyak parut.nak pakai kaler apa pun tak payah nak kisah.lantakkan la hijau ke,oren ke,purple terang menyilau mata ke,tak ada siapa kesah[abaikan makcik2 kecoh yang suka ngumpat anak orang].
sekarang kalau hentam kromo pakai baju seksi2 warna warni sesuka hati,alahai..
kalau budak kecik,boleh order makanan sesuka hati.mak akan tanya;
"nak makan apa?"
lepastu boleh lah jawab;
"nak KFC la mak.eh eh tak.nak kuew teow goreng.ehhhhhhh,kejap2.tamau2.nak bihun tomyam dengan ayam goreng."
dan mak pun akan orderkan.siap ada side dish.lepas tu,kalau kakak2 durjana nak mintak2 makanan kita,boleh aje halang.cara?cebikkan bibir sikit.takpun..
"mak!tengok kak ni.dia ambik makanan orang!"
lepas tu boleh senyum tengok kakak2 kena bantai dengan mak sebab suka buli adik kecik yang lemah tak berdaya.wooo hooo.
lepas tu,kalau jadi budak kecik lagi,time pergi sekolah,hanya perlu risau pasal nak makan apa ya hari ni?takpun,pasal mak nak datang ambik pukul berapa ya?siap boleh sembang2 dengan kawan2 sekelas pasal kartun barbie yang tayang kat TV3 hari sabtu lepas.kalau tertidur dalam kelas,cikgu tak berapa nak garang.tak payah risau kalau tidur dalam kelas berdengkur dengkur pun.sebab kau budak kecik.siapa kisah tidur berdengkur campur keluar air liur basi pun?paling buruk,kau kena ejek 2,3 hari dengan kawan2 kau.silap haribulan,ada aje yang cakap;
"alah kiut nyaaaaaaaaa dia tu tidurrrr"
sekarang,kalau tidur berdengkur plus air liur basi dekat lecture hall,sumpah kena maki and drop dengan kawan2.takde siapa cakap kau tidur kiut dah.haha.
lepas tu,kalau masih kanak2,takpayah risau pasal bil telefon.kalau nak call kawan sekolah pun,angkat telefon rumah,dail2 then cakap.konon la.padahal teruja ada telefon rumah yang gedabak bak hape aje.mesti nak jugak telefon kawan,sebab tiap2 hari nampak kakak bergayut di telefon.tak boleh lah kalah dengan kakak =.='
sekarang,cuba la telefon kawan2 sesuka hati.dah la nak cakap kena guna duit sendiri.tambah2 lagi yang guna topup di India ni.susah lah nak gayut berjam jam tanpa rasa bersalah.
kenapa Azian Hana tetiba merapu pasal zaman kanak2 yang mudah dan simple?adakah sudah jumpa childhood crush?tidakkkk..
sebabnya,hari ni 20haribulan 2.
kakak aku yang sulung lahir pada tarikh ni.
so,to the one in Sheffield right now,i am very very sorry.i can't call you on your birthday.because the rate from India to your place is way too expensive.plus i'm broke some more.no credit.and you are out of reach.you disappear from my YM and skype list.i cant send you present either.not that i'm being bakhil or anything,but i just don't know what to give you.okay.lame excuses.
just wait for a couple of months okay?when we meet up at home,i'll give you whatever you want.
so,here's a quick wish from your oh-so-lovely-sister.
AIZIE YUSLIANA,happy 24th birthday! May Allah grants mercies on you.
p/s: if you're reading this,can you give permission for me to read all those great novels that you send home last week?mak told me.okay.i'm not asking your permission,but i'm telling you.hahahahhaa.
it's almost midnight,yet i'm sitting and writing here.btw,tomorrow is friday.yeah.i know.
it's 4-hours-straight-lectures!yippie!
=.='
but i have good news too.cause i'm done already with my paediatric practical exam,so i can go back at the afternoon, walaupun esok sepatutnya ada posting..syukur boleh balik awal.boleh balik and bukak slide paediatric,and bersengkang mata sepanjang petang,sebab lusa,hari Sabtu,iya,SABTU,akan ada exam theory for paediatric plak.
zzzZZZzzz..
bosan gila Azian Hana blog kau.asyik cakap pasal exam.
but what am i supposed to do?i really have tests,everyday.
oh yea,bercakap mengenai ujian,semalam,some of my friends di uji Allah.
ada yang hilang bag,books.but yang hilang bag tu,hilang segala macam kad bank,kad insurans,passport and all.PASSPORT?!means she has lots of things to do to get her passport back.
aku doa kau dapat balik barang-barang kau.kalau nak ambik duit,ambiklah.but not the passport.
the exact incident was hilarious.okay,not.because my friends are the ones who lost their things.but the fact that the thief actually managed to grab 3 books along with the bag,just maybe to pretend that he/she is a very hardworking or good student.poor Kak We just came back home with her sour face.and she did cry[real cry] for her Microbiology book.gone away the book fulled with sticky notes and scribbles.
but there's always a reason.everything happens for a reason.HIKMAH.
we went through our days,not knowing what will happened to us.but Allah knows everything.kalau dah "kun fayakun" kataNya,maka jadilah.dan tidaklah Allah uji kamu dengan sesuatu yang kamu tak mampu tanggung[2;286].
for every step that we take,there's always a consequences.either good or not,that is not for us to decide.but of course,the way you take your step is important,for it's considered as our efforts.and inshaAllah,if our efforts are enough,and along with du'aa and tawakkal,then you'll get a good ending.but if you don't,that doesn't mean that it's the end of your life.maybe your efforts aren't enough.or maybe you are doing it wrong.or maybe,your "kebergantungan" kepada Allah is not sufficient.[oh i loveeeeeee when Iffah quote this time usrah tadi.a very2 good reminder.indeed.]
usaha sehabis daya,betul betul punya usaha,tambah dengan du'aa yang tak putus-putus,and letak sekali rasa tawakkal kepada Allah dengan apa yang kita dah usaha.InshaAllah,diizinkan semuanya berlaku ikut apa yang kau perlu.
you asked for the sun,but Allah gives you rainy days.you cried your heart out,and felt like it's the end of your stories.but you saw the rainbow appears after the rain.unintentionally,you smiled like nothing ever happened.you took a step and never looked back.
what doesn't kill you only will makes you stronger,isn't it?
Allah knows,dear.just be a good slave,and Allah will gives you the things that you need.
for my friends,i'll pray for all of you.
:)
p/s: the title of this post is Gatorade because..i really wanna drink it now,in the middle of the night.[okay,kenapa ayat aku macam ayat karangan english tingkatan dua cekal?heh.]
esok exam clinical paediatric.lusa pharmaco.lepas tu ada exam patho lagi.sungguh busy.tapi masih ada masa online.apakah ini Azian Hana?
siang tadi ada Community Medicine.we all went to the cafe[the last place i ever want to go to eat,and if i left without any other choices,i would rather choose not to eat.muahaha].
well,the field visit went well.all good.and the report session was superb.everyone had their own moment,by volunteering.and i did that.can you believe it?i went to the front,because i thought;
"let me just be a good girl.for once"
so,i got up from my seat,and walked to the front.then bla,bla,bla..giving report on the cleanliness of the kitchen at the cafe.everything was great,when suddenly...
Mr. P: Give me infections caused by cockroaches.[looking at me].
Me: Me?erk..i don't know.
Mr. P: you don't know?
is he deaf or something?
Me: Erm..haaa..TB!
confidently.innocently and cheerfully.
Mr. P : WHAT?TB???!!!
and then he laughed at me.loudly.
and i felt like a stupid at the very same moment.
then,he also told us about the Typhoid Mary.please mark his words;
"did you know that this person named Mary had act as a salmonella carrier.and she killed 900 people during 17th century?"
all gasps and whoaaaaaa.seriously,i believe his words.
then after i got back from college,i googgled about the infections caused by the cockroaches.
and i found this;
"You still have some strong reasons for killing cockroaches. The creeps carry several ugly viruses and diseases: including leprosy and even bubonic plague. Cockroaches also carry Salmonella. Salmonella can cause tuberculosis, hepatitis, and typhoid fever. And if that isn't enough, cockroaches can carry the eggs of parasitic worms."
oh,oh and i did search for Typhoid Mary,and i found this;
"Mary Mallon (September 23, 1869 – November 11, 1938), also known as Typhoid Mary, was the first person in the United States to be identified as a healthy carrier of typhoid fever. Over the course of her career as a cook, she is known to have infected 53 people, three of whom died from the disease. Her notoriety is in part due to her vehement denial of her own role in spreading the disease, together with her refusal to cease working as a cook. She was forcibly quarantined twice by public health authorities and died in quarantine. It is possible that she was born with the disease, as her mother had typhoid fever during her pregnancy."
again.his attitude of exaggerating things annoys me the most.that's one concrete reason for me to hate Community Medicine classes.plus with all burdens of the record books.
there's someone on facebook,that mentioned bout the needs of exercises in women.specifically.that person said that we,women will not loose fats on our waists if we not do some exercises.and that statement also mentioned that if we have fats accumulated at our waists,we will not look hot/gorgeous/beautiful.
well,all are true.and i am happy that someone finally make that statement.
hal nya di sini,ialah,tak semua manusia kurus itu SIHAT.dan tak semua manusia gemuk itu TAK SIHAT.
sebab kesihatan ni Allah yang bagi.dan of course,kita si hamba mesti berusaha untuk jaga nikmat kesihatan yang Allah dah bagi.tapi sejauh mana kita jaga?
mari bercakap mengenai manusia kurus dahulu.
kurus.cantik.memang cantik.but again,beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.selalu orang cakap,orang yang kurus ni kalau pakai apa saja pun mesti cantik.betulkah?
tidak.bagi aku tidak.tak semua manusia kurus itu cantik.tak semua baju yang dia pakai kena dengan gaya dia.
orang kata;orang kurus sihat.
mitos.
bagi aku tidak.kalau dah kurus cikeding sampai beli seluar nak kena alter sana sini sebab pinggang kecik sangat,aku rasa,tu macam tak bagus aje.kalau dah ala2 anorexia tu,bagus kejadahnya.kalau dah tinggal tulang,ala2 orang kebuluran,memang sah2 tak bagus.kan?
sekarang mari bercakap pasal manusia gemuk.
gemuk.orang selalu bagi sinonim gemuk dengan hodoh.ah,tak adil.tak semua orang gemuk tak cantik.
dan tak semua manusia gemuk banyak penyakit.
maybe majoriti orang gemuk ada penyakit merbahaya yang disebabkan oleh lemak2 dalam badan.
tapi tak semua manusia gemuk begitu.mungkin dia nampak gemuk sebab dia ada rangka badan yang besar.mungkin orang nampak dia gemuk sebab kawan2 dia yang lain semuanya kurus.[okay,lari point].
kalau di suruh seorang manusia gemuk,dengan seorang manusia kurus berlumba lari,adakah kau boleh gerenti si kurus akan sampai dulu ke garisan penamat?[siapa berani meh cakap dekat aku].
kurus gemuk bukan masalahnya di sini.the thing is,it's either you are healthy or not.
kalau kurus sebab tak makan nasi empat lima enam bulan without any other supplement,tu namanya memang kufur nikmat kesihatan.sanggupkah menyeksa badan sampaikan badan tak dapat nutrients yang diperlukan?sangupkah menyeksa badan semata-mata nak tubuh langsing tapi bila orang suruh buat kerja sikit,kau dah macam orang nak mati?aku tak sanggup.cakap terus-terang.
dan manusia yang dikatakan gemuk,sanggupkah menyeksa jantung anda yang berharga,dengan memakan makanan berlemak setiap masa?sanggupkah menyeksa hati dan perasaan bila orang kata anda gemuk,semata mata kerana anda malas bersenam?aku tak sanggup.
baik.pengakuan seorang Azian Hana.
aku boleh dikategorikan sebagai manusia debab[okay,tamau guna perkataan gemuk.debab nampak comel.haha.diam kau].
tapi,aku bersukan.at least,paling kurang dalam seminggu,akan ada masa aku peruntukkan untuk bersukan.paling lama 3 jam.biarlah aku makan banyak mana pun minggu tu,tapi aku tetap cuba untuk bersukan.dan aku buat segala senaman tu bukan sebab nak kurus,tapi sebab nak amalkan gaya hidup sihat.[walaupun makan tetap banyak macam apa aje].but at least,i'm trying.dan setakat ni aku puas hati.biarkan banyak manusia melabelkan aku sebagai ayam yang sedap untuk dimakan ke,ayam yang ummpphhh ke..aku tetap senyum.sebab aku tau,aku sihat.[sakit yang lama tu tolak dulu la].and i thank ALlah for keeping me alive till this very moment.
jadi,di sini,aku maksudkan,bersenam itu penting.bersenam bukan untuk jadi kurus badan cantik molek.bersenam sebab nak sihat.nak jaga jantung,supaya boleh pumped darah dengan lebih effisien.bersenam sebab nak bagi muscles di badan biasa bergerak,so that nanti2 jika kena tolong emak buat kerja,senang,takde rasa letih.sebabnya?kita dah biasa gerakkan muscles tu.
dan kalau jadi kurus dan hilang lemak tu,alhamdulillah lah kan.good for you.
kalau malas sangat,takde duit dan masa nak ke gym,or terlalu busy dengan buku2 and kerja harian,or terasa malas nak salin baju pakai baju sukan seluar sukaan kasut sukan segala,tak apa.
boleh buat senaman dalam bilik.banyaaakkk sangat senaman mudah yang boleh buat.macam..pumping,sit-up(s),lari setempat,skipping guna tali murahan[yang ni nak buat pakai baju kelawar pun boleh].agak2 ramai and bosan buat senaman skema,cubalah buat main lompat tali getah macam main waktu muda2 dulu,takpun main lubang tikus ke.okay ape.buat lah dalam 10 minit,3 kali seminggu.ni panduan untuk manusia yang paling malassss nak bersenam.habis mudah dah ni.siap boleh buat sambil tengok ugly betty ke,american idol ke ape.
and,kalau dah kurus,badan sihat tapi hati busuk pun tak guna jugak kan?tak cantik jugak kan? kalau luar cantik,dalam mesti cantik jua.mesti.mesti cuba buat dalaman jadi cantik.
caranya?mulalah dengan bersangka baik kepada semua manusia.dan cubalah berlapang dada.inshaAllah,manusia lain akan pandang kau dengan rasa hormat.dan secara automatik,kau akan rasa diri kau cantik.[tapi sila jangan nak berlagak pulak lepas tu.]
"being fat is not a crime,and it's not a fate either.you decide."
okay.aku dah tak larat nak merapu.dah babai.
p/s: kepada manusia yang gemuk,kurus or apa2 aje lah,no heart and hard feelings okay?untuk kebaikan bersama jugak.
Blackberry Curve.Shigella[mine!],Mac Conkey's and Reput.
White,Blue[mine],Pink and Black.
the Shigella is the first runner up.the absolute winner is the Blackberry Curve[they have Sissy Liana yang memang pemain bola since form 2.what do you expect?duh!].
but i was satisfied with my team last night.good job peeps!sungguh tak percaya yang ramai lagi kawan2 boleh main futsal dengan jayanya.
oh,the highlight of this post is...
i managed to score 1 goal for my team.[kitorang sumbat 2 bijik aje.yang lagi satu Siti Syazwan yang sumbat.but still,bangga!hehe.
below is an article copied from iluvislam and Atap Hijau.try to read between the lines.InshaAllah jumpa banyak benda yang bermakna.mungkin akan kena batang hidung,mungkin akan rasa panas bila baca,tapi sungguh,jika itu yang terbaik untuk kamu,mengapa masih tidak mahu mengaku?
enjoy reading people.
May Allah blesses us.InshaAllah.
Ameen.
..........
There’s a quote from Yasmin Ahmad’s Talentime that I love the most. It sounds like this;
" If the Moon can linger in the morning so bright, why can’t the Sun do the same at night? "
As I was walking back from my clinical rotation in Bons Secours Hospital today, the day was very beautiful and sunny, so I looked up to the blue sky spotted with white fluffy clouds to enjoy every moment of it and I realized the moon is still there not even hiding behind the clouds at 11.30 a.m.
And so I remembered the quote from the movie and yes, it’s true. The Moon even lingers up till noon when the day is very sunny. But it would not even appear on a gloomy rainy day when the Sun is hiding not showing himself. So I started to have this kind of imagination and fantasy about the Sun and the Moon.
For me, I always think, the Sun as a male as it portrays the Masculine features of strong, bright but sometimes could be very vulnerable. The Moon on the other hand is the female, with endless beauty, very serene to look at but could be very lonely. They made a very good and perfect couple, like it was destined from Heaven.
Have you ever thought that the Sun and the Moon are actually lovers?
Why not?
I mean because the Sun and the Moon are just like Adam and Eve. Without the Sun, the Moon will never exist to us as it only reflected the light from the Sun. So did Eve who was made from Adam’s rib, created to fill the spaces between Adam’s fingers. What a lovely couple the Sun and the Moon are, just like how lovely Adam and Eve were. Both couples were created in Heaven to shine upon all the mankind. It’s just that the love of the Sun and the Moon existed much longer before the love of Adam and Eve and their love persisted until today.
If the love of Adam and Eve is brought down from one generation to the next and the love breed filling every corner of the earth from the seed of love of Adam and Eve, the Sun and the Moon is different. Their love existed from the beginning of the world till the Day of Judgment and it will never change and it will never breed. Human’s Love blossoms from loyalty but can be full of cheat, treacherous and bitter to each other. But the Sun and the Moon always loyal to each other since the dawn of time up till now. Their love just never fades away like our love. That is the true power of Love.
Sadly, the Sun and the Moon live in separation. Never be able to live together like we did. No matter how strong their love is, they are not destined to be together in this lifetime. The Sun will appear on the day to shine on the mankind but the Moon can only appear in the night to entertain the heartbroken ones. One day the Moon said to the Sun;
“Oh my Love, you shine on the humans and made them happy for the rest of the day, and I will entertain them and give them a sense of peace and happiness in the night while they are making love, but truly I am lonely myself. You are never in my company. Will we be able to hold hands together like the human did?”
And so the Sun replied;
“Oh my Dear, I’m not trying to shine on them, but rather I’m shining my love on you so that you are not lonely. My light will make you glow beautifully and your beauty will make every eyes of the girls filled with envy and jealousy. We live in a world apart but I will always shine my love for you forever until The Lord Almighty bring us together in the Heaven.”
The Moon is satisfied with the answer but never content with it. She loves the Sun so much that it is unbearable for her to live in separation.
One day, the Moon thought to herself, my heart must never falter and I must be strong in order to be with the Sun. From today on, I will linger on the sky until morning just to see the Sun even if it’s only for a while. The Moon was trying to show and prove her endless love to the Sun. So she stays every morning until noon just to have a brief moment with the Sun even her light is never the same as the night time. Her beauty is fading by the morning and she is sad that she cannot show the Sun her beauty. Even both of them appear on the same morning, they can only look at each other from a distant. They can never be closed enough to hold hands or to embrace each other tightly. Even so, the Moon was very happy because they got to see each other. Sadly for the Sun, he can only see the pale face of the Moon starring at him every morning, not that brightly glowing and the beautiful Moon. So the Sun asked the Mon;
"Oh my Love, why do you look so pale and sad?"
The Moon replied;
“Oh my Love, I’m sad because I can’t be with you and above of all, I’m pale because you are shinning so bright. You showered me with so much love that it caused me so much pain just to think that I’m not with you.”
The Sun is confused so he asked the Moon;
“Oh my Love, do you want me reduce my love for you so that you can light up the morning sky with your glow and smile?”
Listening to that, the Moon said quickly;
"Oh my Love, Never. If you don’t shine your love on me then I will forever be in the dark even at night and the scar on me will never heal.”
So the Sun and the Moon continue to live like that. The Sun will shine the earth every day and when the night comes, the lonely Moon will try to cast the loneliness of the humans away. They got to see each other every morning and then they’ll be separated again. So the Moon is becoming greedier. She longs for the Sun every moment and watching him from a far every morning is not enough anymore.
So, the Moon asked the Sun again;
"Oh my Love, If I can linger in the morning so bright, why can't you do the same at night? If you are present at night, I can always show you my beauty."
Hearing to the question, the Sun becomes clueless and don’t have the answer himself. He also wonders why can’t he shine at night. After giving some thought about it, the Sun replied;
"Oh my dear, have you forgotten the Words of Allah from the Holy Book of Al-Quran?"
So the Sun recited a verse of Al-Quran from Az-Zumar verse 5.
He has created the heavens and the earth with truth. He makes the night to go in the day and makes the day to go in the night. and He has subjected the sunand the moon. Each running (on a fixed course) for an appointed term. Verily, He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving.
Listening to the verse, the Moon burst into tears and asked for Forgiveness from the Lord Almighty as she was trying to defy the rules of creation. Allah has made their destiny as so. She realizes that she could never be together with her beloved Sun. All she can do is to watch him from a far with pale, and sad eyes.
To ease the sadness of the Moon, the Sun then recited a verse from Al-Qiyamah, verse 9.
...and the sunandmoon will be joined together (by going one into the other or folded up or deprived of their light).
“Oh My Love, there will be time when we will be together. Please be patient",the Sun said.
So the Moon and the Sun has been waiting and waiting until the Lord Almighty wishes them to meet each other.
The Sun and The Moon’s love is a very tragic love. Loving each other but never able to be together. There’s always that kind of love in this life that will never be able to be together in this world and surely Allah will grant your love wishes in the Heaven. Fate is in the Hand of Allah and Destiny is Allah’shaq for his servants. There will be time when your love will be realized. If Dunia Cinta is not for you, then Syurga Cinta is waiting for you. Adam and Eve met in Jabal Rahmah after years of searching and Allah fulfilled their love wishes. Just like the Sun and the Moon. Their love is destined to be together on the Day of Judgment. Allah has promised in Al-Qiyamah, when the Day of Judgment occurred is the time when the Sun and the Moon will meet. Oddly for them, in the chaos of the end of the world is the time for them to be happy forever.
For the love that is never to be realized in this world, I’m praying to God to give us the strength to be patient until the love comes to realize in the Paradise full of Happiness. Just wait like how the Sun and the Moon has been waiting for each other from the beginning of the world until the End of the World. Whenever you are tired of waiting, think of how long the Sun and the Moon have been waiting.
Remember Allah’s promise to those who are patient;
And those who remain patient, seeking their Lord’s Countenance, perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and spend out of that which We have bestowed on them, secretly and openly, and defend evil with good, for such there is a good end. (Ar-Rad, 22)
And also, for the unmarried couple who are so in love with each other, there’s a boundary of which you can’t cross. Never to touch what is not yours. Never take it too far until you are lost with love of lust until it became Nafsu Cinta. Just like the Moon and the Sun, they wait with patient for the time, so you should do the same. Your time will come when you tie the knot and you can touch whatever that is yours. Love is a form of Test from Allah. The lovey dovey thing would be for nothing and fruitless if it’s not purify with Ikhlas only for Allah’s sake. You want to harvest the sweetest fruit (pious children) coming out of your love. If you fail the test of love, then you would not reach the Paradise, do you? Patient is definitely what being tested in love. And those who are pious should be able to excel the test well. First Class Honors maybe.
Do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Sabirun (the patient)? (Ali-Imran, 142)
A woman is only halal for you when you marry her. Even if you change your Facebook status countless time, announcing you are now in relationship with that girl or that boy, nothing ever changes between you and her. Both of you remains ‘Haram’ for each other. So does engagement. Engagement would not automatically says she is ultimately yours. As I said before, marriage is the only way that you and your loved ones can act, live and love as a couple.
Allah saw said in Al-Quran :
Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils) ~ (Al-Isra’, 32)
And the Prophet described what is the form adultery from the Hadith.
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: I did not see anything so resembling minor sins as what Abu Huraira said from the Prophet, who said, “Allah has written for the son of Adam his inevitable share of adultery whether he is aware of it or not: The adultery of the eye is the looking (at something which is sinful to look at), and the adultery of the tongue is to utter (what it is unlawful to utter), and the innerself wishes and longs for (adultery) and the private parts turn that into reality or refrain from submitting to the temptation.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Love is a funny thing, can be dangerous, can be tricky, can be a-long-tiring-endless-waiting, but if you love the right way you will surely touch the Heaven of Earth and the Heaven in the Hereafter.
p/s : Cinta Ilahi,sesuatu yang kita harus benar2 cuba untuk memperolehi.
i just had an awesome evening with the sisters here.in Bangalore.specifically,dekat rooftop Dwellington Apartment Blok C.dari batch super junior[oh,oh,bukan SuJu korea tu,ni SuJu batch ke 4],batch Mighty Apes,Second batch and of course,batch super seniors.kali ni istimewa,sebab ada Kak Aishah and Kak Syaf dari ISMA.and,and ada baby!anak Kak Aishah.comel lote sungguh budak kecik tu.serious rasa nak godek2 cubit pipi sampai lebam.tapi anak orang kan,tak boleh tak boleh.
majlis mula dengan..MAKAN-MAKAN.iya.sampai2 aje terus baca du'aa makan.Alhamdulillah!sungguh banyak makanan,sampai tak tau nak pilih yang mana.bihun sup,roti jala,kuih cara,puding roti,puding karamel,kek batik..arghh..banyak lagilah!
dah kenyang,start sembahyang Maghrib berjemaah.then sembahyang hajat,since akak2 seniors and batch aku sendiri akan ada exams on March.ada tazkeerah yang Kak Syaf sampaikan. lepas tazkeerah,sembahyang Isya' berjemaah.syahdu rasanya bila kumpul ramai2 macam tu.sebab tak selalu kami semua[the whole sisters berkumpul].
tazkeerah tadi is on TAWAKKAL.
tawakkal ialah berserah kepada Allah selepas berusaha.
bukan benda senang,tetapi tak mustahil.
aku tak tahu bagaimana mahu ulaskan,aku tunggu dia ini huraikan,supaya kamu,kamu dan kamu,boleh fahaminya dengan lebih jitu dan benar.
semalam angin gila datang.aku macam hilang akal sekejap.aku macam lupa yang aku bukan manusia hebat dan gagah seperti yang aku selalu ingatkan saban malam.aku macam lupa yang aku masih ada Dia.
mujur tak lama gila aku.10 minit berteleku di meja belajar,bertemankan headphone gabak yang aku biarkan Someday;Nickelback berbunyi kuat.sangat kuat.full volume.10 minit sebegitu,aku diamkan semua hambur melalui airmata.sungguh saat itu,aku rasakan,aku sudah tidak mahu usaha.sungguh saat itu,aku rasakan,aku sudah tidak ada daya.
tak lama.10minit telinga dibiarkan dengan muzik sekuat tahap petala ke 8,ia jadi berdesing.tak tahan,aku langkahkan kaki ke bilik air.di dalam itu,aku hamburkan airmata.betapa aku sedar,semua kekuatan yang aku kumpul selama bertahun ini,masih belum cukup kalau mahu dikira.belum cukup.dan takkan pernah cukup,aku rasa.
lalu apa lagi yang aku mesti buat untuk terus berdiam tanpa buat semua benda2 celaka yang aku pernah buat bertahun dulu?
aku belek sony e biru,dan disitu,aku jumpa sesuatu yang aku sendiri tidak sangka.mesej yang disampaikan,biar ringkas,cuma 2 patah perkataan,masuk jauh ke dalam jiwa.dan aku rasakan,terlerai semua kusut dan hambur yang aku mau keluarkan.
dan kepada Dia,pemilik hati aku,yang diremukkan,pemilik mata aku,yang bengkak macam diserang tebuan dek menangis,telinga aku,yang aku seksa dengan bunyi berdesibel tinggi tadi..kepada Dia aku tunduk dan mohon,dengan sepenuh penuh harapan.aku mohon diletakkan kembali aku ini di jalan yang betul.aku mohon dikuatkan lagi jiwa aku ini.aku mohon diwaraskan sedikit lagi akal aku.mohon dengan sebenar benar mohon.
dan Ar-Rahim menunjukkan kasih sayangNya dengan cara paling halus.aku jumpa ini,saat aku meruntun sayu mohon diri boleh dihidupkan lagi,biarpun hanya sehari.
"wahai orang-orang yang beriman,bersabarlah kamu,dan kuatkan kesabaranmu,dan tetaplah bersedia(di perbatasan negeri-negerimu) dan bertaqwalah kepada Allah agar kamu beruntung"
[Ali-Imran 3;200]
apa yang dikuis di sini,bukan tujuannya untuk menunjuk;
"wah,dia ni bagus.tetap ingat Tuhan"
BUKAN.
aku sudah cakap,di sini,kotak hitam kecil aku ini,aku khaskan untuk peringatan sendiri.dan jika ada yang membaca,aku harapkan,dia juga diingatkan.tak perlu fikirkan aku.fikirkan hanya bait-bait ayat aku.aku tak pernah paksa.sungguh.
banyak benda kena fikir.banyak perkara kena kira.banyak hati kena jaga.banyak pros and cons yang mesti dicaturkan sekali.banyak mata2 memandang.banyak mulut berbicara.banyak perasaan yang kena akui.banyak orang dah tanya2.banyak pressure yang kena tahan.banyak kerja kena buat.banyak masa kena ambik.banyak.banyak.banyak!!!!!
don't make me puke with all your words,boleh tak?at least,bagi chance untuk orang lain berfikir.this is not just about your life.it's about mine too.
a new quote. balqish and i managed to get it during field visit ke milk factory yang hmphhhh siang tadi.
" a girl, who is not seen by others,is like a seaweed. hidden under a deep sea,being alone and not known by other people.but once it taken out from the sea,people will craved for it.and the one who craves for it is the one who knew how to appreciate good things.it is delicious,yet not all people think the same way about it.it is special,as it is used to make a good sushi.and only certain people knew the actual values of seaweed."
okay.i know.panjang gila lah kan.quote kejadah kalau dah panjang macam ni.
tapi betullah.kau istimewa,cuma tak ramai yang tau hakikat tu,selain dari orang yang kenal kau.
believe in yourself,that one day,a person will come and take you along his/her journey.no matter what,you are you.
be yourself,but be your best self.[ni quote kelas 5TE kalau tak silap aku.entah.lupalah].
