cuba fikir

mode: penat and busy

oh.memang tengah busy gila.pergi kelas balik kelas.masak makan.belajar tidur.

tapi;

aku masih boleh tenung gambar kau selama 5 minit sebelum tidur.

kau?

jangan harap.memang takkan pernah ada.

...

esok ada test clinical.and i'm not too sure if i can make it or not.

let's just pray for the best lah kan.

ohsorandom: switchfoot dah keluar lagu baru.and i am happily hoping for the album to appear in front of me,magically.

campur lah semua sekali

wasn't able to show the bright side of me.that was my fault ke?

is it my fault if i can't get hold of the world u offered me before?i didn't mean to.serious.

maybe because we are way toooooooo far from all the memories.and yes.congratulations.you made me upset lagi sekali.

tahniah la sangat.

....

being posted to the surgery department didn't stop me from taking a nap in the afternoon.besides,it was a very long nap.from 1 pm to almost 3.30 pm.heh.can't blame me.the doctors were too busy to notice us yang tengah tekun menunggu di bilik OPD tu.

and i'm glad i spent almost rm2k for my iPod.sebab itu ajelah penghibur di kala duka saya di bilik OPD yang sempit lagi panas itu.heh.

apa apa pun,ada orang tu jadi brilliant girl hari ni.haha.

....

and by the way,i have to go shopping for aqram's and elron's present tomorrow.lagipun bulan december dah dekat.tak salah kot spend banyak sikit kat diorang.haha

:P

and yeah.my sister's birthday too.

happy birthday dear sis.you are 16 girl!enjoy your new scooter lah.but i'm not giving you anything,sebab you'll get bag adidas warna PINK from someone else.kira cincai la dari kakakmu ini jua.

and remember.tarikh keramat ni.11 december okay.hantar guna fedex la cepat sampai sikit.i'll be waiting okay.muahaha.

yang benar,
kakakmu yang sengkek tapi baik.

:))

....

and oh.

my mom.

mom,i know you are reading this(jangan pura pura tak tau).

please,please,please.go see the doctor.and have a full check ups on yourself.i worried sick here.kalau malu,ajak abah.haha.

....

ohsorandom:Ya Allah.Hwan Tae Kyung tu memang cute tahap asbestos la time dia gelak.his eyes went up a little(banyak sebenarnya).squint.omaigot.omaigot.cute gila weyh.cute gila.

zaman menjeruk rasa

Bismillah..


i can't sleep.all i do since got back from my friend's house is crying.Seriously,i felt so weak right now.

dan aku tak salahkan sesiapa untuk kelemahan ini.it comes from me,myself.susah nak cakap,tapi kalau ini yang Allah nak bagi,makanya,dipaksakan jugak hati untuk terima.bukan ini yang aku minta dalam doa setiap hari.

ia bukan apa apa sangat.cuma kami sudah terlalu jauh.jauuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh sangat sampai kalau diukur pun,boleh habis tali tape satu India ni.

:|

being sad is not a crime kan?and i just don't understand why people see crying as a weakness.sebab bagi aku,maybe itu satu jalan keluar ke arah yang lebih baik.

oh lupa.manusia sekarang memang judgemental tak tentu pasal.

aku sekarang dah tak pandai nak tunjuk emosi.kalau dulu,bila marah selalu hempas pintu,tapi sekarang dah kurang.kalau dulu,kalau nak nangis,mesti akan tak kisah kalau orang lain nampak,tapi sekarang tidak.

senang cakap;

sekarang zaman memendam rasa,menjeruk jiwa.

....

dan ya,aku ini memang sudah tak diketahui dalamannya.nak cerita pun payah.nak cakap dekat orang lain semua masalah pun memang mustahil.because they are too busy to notice kan?so,what's the use of telling?is it for the sake of spilling or what?kalau bila cerita tu lagi buat kau derita,susah hati.atau spilling moment tu buat kau lagi rasa nak terbit serlah airmata,baik tak payah.

because of all matters,Allah knows better.

kalau nak spill kat kawan-kawan pun,habis payah sekerat aje yang keluar.selebihnya airmata.tu pun kalau ada yang sudi tadah telinga.

:|


...

sekarang memang susah nak cerita apa apa dekat sesiapa.bila ada datang bertanya,aku jawab biasa biasa aja.nanti panjang cerita.


but there is someone yang suka suruh aku spill.ayat dia;

"spill.sepatah sepatah"

or

"cerita la.spill"


but dia tak pernah nak tadah semua benda yang aku spilled.

kalau yang macam tu,aku memang rasa nak tendang dia ke laut.tau?

...

my last resolution was calling my sister.

dia tanya;

"ada hempas pinggan sampai pecah?"
"tak"
"ada hempas pintu sampai berdentum?"
"tak"
"habis tu,macam mana?"
"selalu nangis dalam bilik air aje"
"then you are a fine lady now.tahniah.anda dah dewasa."
"aaaaaaaa"


terkedu.

...


dan bila fikir balik,betullah.

aku dah tak payah masuk kelas anger management macam yang abah selalu cakap tu.

sebab;

sekarang zaman menjeruk rasa.



ohsorandom:crying wouldn't make things better,but it makes u feel better.

life,i guess

Bismillah..


u know.there is always something between the lines.

and this time,i supposed it is a real thing.haha.look at me.i'm rambling all the shits in this blog again.okay.enough.malas nak kotorkan blog ni dengan makian yang tak sepatutnya.

i want to see somebody right now,but that person is just unreachable.kita memang dah terlalu jauh kan?


...


"i once asked,for you to care,now that i'm gone,would be that aware?"


...

fix me

Bismillah..


balik dari hospital.penat..rasa macam nak terus tidur.tapi..


i came to a conclusion that i need some ideas right now.i switched on my iPod and randomly pick a song.

and among the thousands songs in it,i choose...


Fix You;Coldplay.


and my heart skips a beat.because the lyrics are all true.acececece..

"...And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you..."


....

it's the when-you-lose-something-you-can't-replace part yang make me feel like crying just now.

ohsorandom:siapa kata budak cengeng tu dah hilang.ade je...

biasan

Bismillah..


demam dah kebah.dan aku tarik balik tulisan aku dlm post yang lepas.sebab;

1.housemate aku ADA buat sup ayam panas yang ada kentang.
2.housemate aku ADA jeram kepala aku yang panas dengan air asam jawa.

hihi.


aku dah habis sumber bacaan.sila tolak buku pelajaran dan tafsir kejap.dan tilik kebosanan aku sekarang.

:|

sekarang memang zaman orang lupa janji,kan?maklumlah,sekarang zaman busy,zaman teknologi.blahhhh..as if orang tu sibuk sangat la kan.



whatever.i couldn't care less.
.......

my sudden sickness reminds me of my parent.a always have them in my mind,since all i got to do was lying and rolling on the bed.and it makes me think what would happened to myself when my parent are not here with me anymore?the answer is easy;

a complete disaster.

i just can't see myself living without them.because all these years,all i know is;

"abah,nak beli baju ni.cantik tak?"

or

"maaakkkkk..teringin nak makan laksa la."

or

"abah....jom pergi jalan-jalan"

or

"maaakkkk,sakit gigi!"


this happened on last March,when i even called my mom,in the middle of the night,just to say.."mak,sakit gigi!"..then i hang up.she called me back and i cried and cried until my mom said;

"dah la tuu..jangan nangeh.esok pergi jumpa doctor".


and that's it.i stopped crying and went to sleep.


see,they have a really,really big impact in my life.

but i think most of us have this kind of influence kan?

.....
tapi;


kita merancang,Allah yang tentukan.biar hebat macam mana pun rancangan,kalau Allah kata;

kun fayakun..

maka jadilah ia.

Allah knows better.

demam

Bismillah..


semalam dah jadi lagi teruk.aku rasa aku demam rindu la.tapi tak tahu yang mana satu.dan yeah,memang tak seronok bila dah besar.kau demam pun,takkan dapat dah sup ayam panas ada kentang.tak ada siapa tolong jeram air asam jawa atas dahi.sekarang dah tahu kenapa aku suka jadi budak kecik.


...



mak,nak balik.

:|