expressing myself

Bismillaah..


i don't know why,but somehow i found that i don't know how to express my feelings anymore.there are times when i feel so sad,but i couldn't even shed a tear.and i also felt happy for past few days,but i barely talked about it to others.it's like i'm shutting everything near me.it's like i'm building a wall up against me.a wall that keeps me away from others.and of course,literally.not physically lah.

even today,as i walked past something that really made me wanna jump with joy,i just stood and stare at it.and do nothing.not even a smile.but i was laughing inside.

then again,i got angry at one of makhluk Allah ni.but all i did was..diam.diam as in buat macam biasa.selalunya,mesti akan hempuk buku ke,apa ke,saja tunjuk protes sikit bagi orang tu tau ak marah ke apa.but this time,no.i sit there and be normal.

i really don't know why.

part of me want to believe that this is a good thing.at least i won't make any fuss about tiny little thing that made me upset,happy or whatnot.

but another part of me really feel..uneasy?weird?it's like i'm not myself.and that,is not a good thing.seriously,if i don't even know myself,then how my life will be?

*diam*



it's okay.i'll figure it out later.now i really need to get a good shower.